The Apple Ain't Nowhere Near this Tree!

Let me tell you how I was in college – quiet. People knew me because I had a gorgeous 5’10” green-eyed sister whom everyone knew. But the same three or four friends I met freshman year, were the same friends I left with. Same with high school, three friends until the end. Don’t get me wrong, I had a LOT of fun with those friends, it’s just I was never the center of attention; everyone else was. My business partner always gets on me because I am never in the photos – I think I do it intentionally. I prefer to be behind the scenes and it’s worked out nicely for me.

I’ve made a conscious effort to tell my daughter to be an independent thinker, to walk to her own drum. I tell her about drugs, drinking and violence against women and to be responsible for her body. I tell her that she might see two mommies or two daddies and that love comes in many forms. She gets mad when she sees litter saying “Mommy, someone is being bad to the earth,” and I smile thinking “Good job mom.”

I want her to be a better version of me. I don’t want her to be a wall flower like I was, but she takes it to the extreme. It’s like she is the complete opposite of me. She’ll puts on shorts, high heels, lipstick and a wig and want to go outside. She mixes and matches her bathing suits, preferring to wear bikinis when she can. She begs me for lipstick and I visibly see her demeanor change when a boy is around; she gets all girly and silly and I want to scream “get it together!” You warn your daughters about little boys, but I have a feeling I’ll have to warn a few moms to protect their sons from my daughter. She can be raucous and loud where I was quiet and shy.

I still try to sing the childhood songs I made up for her when she was a baby but she will drop me in a heartbeat for Ariana Grande or Iggy Azaelea. I put her in ballet and tap hoping to introduce her to dance. I didn’t want her in hip hop because I thought it’d be too grown. For three years I watched her clunk through some painful movements during recitals. She always got cheers for personality over performance. Yet, without a lesson she has managed to match the Ariana’s “One Less Problem” video in one attempt.

And don’t let her see another cute kid. When she went to my niece’s camp performance, Park was outraged when a cute little girl (who oddly enough everyone thought was her sister) performed and got attention, later telling me she challenged the girl to a dance-off and declaring “Oh – it’s not over!” She still brings this up, months later as if there is a dance-off waiting to happen. My brother-in-law still blames me for my nephew’s lack of coordination. I am the known non-dancer in the family – even my mother won a dance contest on the Katie Couric show!

When we go on vacation everyone knows her, certainly before they know me or Larry. She’s the kid people from Canada wanted to take photos with when she was a baby. When I go to her school, parents tell me even the older kids know Parker and she cracks them up. My daughter is a sweet girl but she can be wild and un-tame. She is that kid that always looks a mess at the end of the day as she comes tumbling off the bus. She is so unlike me – no one knew who I was in high school and this kid has eighth graders who know her name.

But I’ve decided that’s ok. Although I don’t see any resemblance of me in her, others do. They say they see it in her attitude, personality and actions – so maybe she is like the woman I’ve grown into as an adult. Sometimes I have to shake my head and go “where did this little girl come from,” and then she asks for a magazine to use the bathroom and I think, oh yeah, she’s mine!