School Trippin'

I have been waiting for two years to go on a field trip with my daughter’s school; a privilege that starts in kindergarten. I already had my police background check and fingerprinting done, which is customary these days and I was ready to go. I even thought of counter-actions I could perform to combat the death-stare Parker would surely give me if she saw me so much as talking to another child in her presence. I’ve had plenty of experience with that volunteering in her classroom – the cold stare, followed by the hung head, followed by tears; but I was ready to spread equal love while making her feel special.

The day before the trip the teacher told me that neither she nor the assistant teacher from their class would be going. I could have sworn I saw clouds cover the sky and a raven land on my roof as she said that! Was this an omen? Nevertheless, I was determined to carry on with a positive attitude.

Got to school and got a little nervous as one new kid pointed gun fingers at me. Another kid told the teacher and the student immediately put them back in his holster while others regaled me by telling stories of the guns their dads had at home. I guess she’s in a class with pro-NRA parents! Two little boys got the “you’d better behave or you will never go on a school trip without your parent personally bringing you” talk and I began to imagine a wild day full of me chasing kids through the zoo and quite possibly making the news.

All of the kindergarten students loaded onto ONE school bus. Well, I have not been on a school bus in decades and forgot all about that one seat with the hump on the floor – of course that is where I sat, with my knees to my chest, with two girls from another class who were clearly disheartened they had to sit next to an adult. Why wasn’t I with Parker you ask? Why wasn’t I with my darling girl who practically sits on my head at home, and who last year wouldn’t want me to so much as look at a classmate? Why she was in the back with her two girlfriends not thinking about Mommy being snubbed upfront.

We made it to the zoo and we were off! And while I imagined chasing kids across acres of land with some potentially ending up in a cage somewhere, our group was surprisingly well-behaved. It helped that the teachers were experienced pros. While I as a parent, always worried about how I was talking to someone else’s child was like, “Darling, stand over here; sweetheart, don’t do that,” the teachers had those kids in line in short-order with a few stern words and a look that seemed to solve any problem. My favorite line from a teacher that day was “listen the first time;” I have since used it 1000 times at home; obviously Park listens to me the 3rd or 4th time! The weather was great and it seemed as if all the animals were out celebrating – the lion pride, pandas, elephants, great apes – you name it, we saw it. One teacher had her Fitbit with her and we clocked 11,000 steps in about three hours, so there was a side benefit as well. Of course I got back to school and was so tired and exhausted that I went for McDonalds including the Oreo McFlurry with extra-extra Oreo thus negating every single step, but I consider it my reward for my effort – and I did get the Happy Meal which was probably on 17,000 calories vs. 25,000.

So the day wasn’t so bad after all, other than being really, really tired, we had a great time and I’d do it again, which is a good thing as the next trip is in two weeks!