A few weeks ago I was on the road with my daughter driving to New Jersey. I call her my "road dog" because we have been traveling together by ourselves up and down 95 since she was born. I usually drop her off to stay with my family while I am away for work for an extended period. She gets extra family time and Larry gets quiet time.
So you know I've been doing this potty thing and, once she got the hang of it, Park has mastered it with relative ease. But there are certain things that still irk her - like "number two" - where she tries to go in a corner like a puppy to make her mark, and will look you dead in the face with her eyes as wide as saucers going "No, no" when you ask if she has to "boppy."
Another tick is the sound of the automatic flush. I read some where that a post-it note over the sensor will stop the toilet from flushing automatically, and have traveled with them ever since. On this particular day, we were on the road and I pulled over at one of the rest stops for a potty break. For some reason Park did not want to get on the toilet.
Thinking that we would most likely not stop again, I tried to hold her little body over the seat and make her go saying, "Don't worry Parker, it's not going to flush; try to use the potty." I was sure this was not one of those auto toilets and did not use my post-it.
While protesting, Park hoisted her little body off the toilet - which left me face down in the bowl - and then the toilet flushed! A lovely spray of probably every tourist from DC to New Jersey that used that toilet sprayed onto my face. I felt like I was slapped fresh in the face with germs! I guess that was God's eay of telling me not to force the issue. I quickly wiped myself off, washed our faces and hands, and left the bathroom - without either of us using the toilet!
Fast forward a week and I am back home. I decided to take Park to a local park that hosts Fabulous Fridays where, for $5 a person, you can ride the carousel, the train and play mini-golf for a three-hour period. I wanted to have fun time with her to make up for being gone for so long.
Park loves the carousel and immediately wanted to ride it. But as soon as she got close, she started to back away. She was afraid of all of the horses and animal figures looking so big and stiff. I noticed this same behavior at the Museum of Natural History - a place she once loved now freaked her out as she got older and noticed giant, stiff lions and tigers and bears - oh my!
We finally found one tiny horse that we named "Tina" that she liked. It was smaller than the others and did not go up and down. As long as I blocked her from the two bulls and giant kangaroo behind her, she was happy. We rode Tina again and again; breaking to take a train ride, but always returning. So why did I try to mess with a good thing?
After a bit, I suggested we try one of the benches on the carousel - and she happily agreed. However, once we started to move, she wanted back on "Tina." Me being "saftey first" as my sister calls me, I refused to move her as we were already in motion. So Park began to wave and flail her arms and kick her legs like a mad woman, screaming for "Tina." And as I leaned over to try to comfort her, I got slapped fresh in the face and kicked in the shins!
My first reaction was shock. Did my own child just slap me in the face? Did she do it on purpose or was it an accident? I was sure people on the ride were looking at me thinking I had some wild uncontrollable child - and I was pretty much with them on that summation. But I got myself together.
In my two plus years of being a mother I've learned to calm down and speak quietly when I am upset as opposed to yelling like I might have been prone to earlier in my experience. I leaned in close to Parker and said "Parker, I am very disappointed in you; you slapped Mommy and hurt her. I know you are upset about Tina but you have to try to calm down." Then I held her as she cried over my disappointment and we rode out the ride while we both calmed ourselves down.
By the time we got off, she was back to her cheery, happy self and I was proud of the way I handled the situation. That slap startled me and I could not believe that she'd done it. But she is two and she was upset and frustrated and that was the only way she felt she could express herself at that moment. It was up to me to be the adult and not the child and THIS time my better self won out.
So we hugged and kissed each other, got off the ride and immediately went back on line - to "Tina."
So my two slaps taught me to never try to force an issue; that automatic toilets can be tricky, carousels can be scary and kids have their own preferences and opinions. As Sister Sabara once told me in 9th grade biology - "sometimes you have to stop doing and just listen."
I'll keep that in mind for today is Friday, and tonight, we return to "Tina!"
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