My sister is the kind of mom that has all of her kid's friends at her house. All hours of the day kids are being dropped off, picked-up, taken to the movies or swimming in their pool. As Vice President of the Social Committee at their school, it seems she knows every parent and every parent seems to call on her at one point or another. Whether it's the one who comes but never leaves, the one whose parent needs a quick favor or the regular kid who's always coming by, it seems she welcomes them with open arms.
Her duties with the school committee have her organizing Parents Days and ice skating nights; Career Days and end of year celebrations - all of which she handles with grace and gusto. This is a person who never baby sat, was pretty ambivalent about babies in general, but who has now morphed into Super Mom - the exact mom I always thought I would be. But now - not so much!
The thought of being responsible for someone else's kids other than my own (and by my own I also mean my niece and nephew) gives me the heebie jeebies. I think back to a comedian who said "Just because I have kids doesn't mean I like them - I just like my own!"
I am little overwhelmed when I think about even watching other peoples kids. When my nephew was a baby Dee would ask if I wanted to take him to the play ground to which I would more often than not reply "No thanks." Not because I didn't want to spend time with my nephew but because I didn't want to spend time with the other kids that were sure to be there! You don't know how they're raised - if they're nice kids or brats; if their parents raised them to be polite or let them run wild - too many unknown factors for me to deal with!
Granted, Park is only two, so we're not at the point of alot of playdates and she's in daycare where there are no PTAs and mother's groups, but still somehow I thought I'd be more excited about all of the Mommy-related activities waiting for me and I simply am not there yet. I can barely get out of bed to be aware of my own kid. Larry told me the other day that Park came into our room at 2:00 a.m. and was carrying on a full conversation with me - while I snored. He got out of bed, put her back in bed, and I never knew what happened.
I like that Park has friends but I think I'd go a little nuts if I was responsible for them. While Dee will throw a gaggle of kids in her car and take them to the movies or freely let her kids run up the street to a neighbor's I sometimes shudder at the thought of playdates or someone asking me to watch their kid. I am still figuring out how to keep my own child alive as she puts pennies in her mouth, jumps on and off the sofa, scales the walls and calls the extension cord a necklace; I can't worry about keeping someone else off of the ledge! And the PTA? The thought of taking 750 RSVPs for a strawberry festival makes me want to run down the street screaming!
Dee's kids are seven and 10. Maybe I'm still relatively new at the game and the above only speaks to my insecurities of messing up someone else's kid and my fear of them messing up my kid. My priority today is making sure my child is happy, alive and well before I focus on someone else's child.
I want to be that Super-mom one day. I want my house to be kid-central. I want Park see our house as the place she'd most rather be. So I'll take it slow - a play date here, an invite there; I even plan on bringing Park to a mom's group playdate in our community if I am ever home when they have them.
Maybe by the time she's in elementary school I'll see the beauty in the chaos and look forward to helping other mom's in their daily routine as they will surely help me. We'll see. But for now, don't ask me to babysit!
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