Last night I tried to put Parker to sleep. We were doing well when I gently slipped my hand off her back, rolled my body off the pillows on the floor where I was laying down, and like a ninja, tried to slide silently out of the room. And then she woke up - saw that I was attempting to leave - and went buck wild! My husband, hearing the ruckus, came upstairs, shoo-shoed me out of the way, grabbed Parker, started talking some gibberish about the moon and the stars and came downstairs five minutes later after putting her to sleep! Getting her up in the morning? I am barely conscious and rarely hear her calls. By the time I roll over, he has her out of bed, eating her cereal, waiting for Mommy to get her dressed. Dinner? - he cooks it, after he returns from work (where he also drops her off and picks her up from the daycare at his job). Using the potty? He can get her to go better than I can!
While trying not to get a complex, I've started thinking about why he seems to be so much better at these things than I am. When it comes to daily reading, social activities such as dance and gymnastics and general play time, I'm your go-to girl. When she gets home, all she wants is Mommy - sitting on my lap, wanting me to pick her up, crying when I take two steps without her, wanting me by her side every step of the way while smothering me with hugs and kisses. But sleepy tme, eating time, potty time - that's Larry's domain.
I think his patience and calm demeanor may be what allows her to easily follow his lead as I admittingly at times am always thinking about the next thing on my list. With Larry, maybe she feels she can just "be" and there is a value and balance in that. While one parent is the scheduler, the other is the free-timer. With one you have to be on point, on time and aware; with the other you can wait it out until you're ready to act. That must explain why Parker can sit in a room all day with Larry while he watches TV and just let him be, but when she sees me the books and the toys start coming out of the woodwork for heavy interaction time.
I'd like to think she appreciates what we both bring to the relationship and that it will serve her well in the future. I'd like to think Larry's not the better parent but just one who parents differently. I'd like to think I'm not making her neurotic about "Mommy time" and that she'll be a well-rounded adult. I'd like to think that I'm not out-mothered by my husband. But maybe I should just relax and think about the fact that I am extremely lucky!
